Friday, August 19, 2005
i dunno wadz goin on lar..
haiz..
i'm like getting damn emotional these few weeks..
izzit just a part of growing up?
or izzit that i'm getting weak?
it is so not me lar..
maybe its because of all of the things goin on in my life rite now..
i'm really tired of living this life..
sometimes i just wonder why am i even alive..
do i even deserve to live?
if only i can give up on every fucking thing there is..
if only i had a choice..
but i noe everything happen for a reason..
a reason i will never understand what..
i am really confused..
i just dont understand what is going on right now..
everything's travelling at the speed of light..
i cant cope lar..
i need a break..
i dont want them to break..
but what if they really break?
what will happen to me?
what will i do without them?
can i survive?
haiz...
why are these things happening to me?
especially at this point of time..
sometimes it makes me cry..
i dunno why i cry..
i just cant turn it into anger anymore like how i used to do..
i just break down..
surprisingly..
but what do you expect?
i'm still human aint i?
i just hope tt fucking bitch die lar..
she got nothing else better to do izzit?
go fuck herself lar..
deprived of sex ttz why she wear tampon rite?
wah lao..
ask her find a gigolo lar..
loser..
she can be a prostitute oso..
at the same time can earn money leh..
WHY??????????????????????
i dont want this..
i hate it!!!!
i want my life back!!
i want my family back........
i want everything to be like how it used to be..
sometimes i wonder if it is best if i never grow up..
maybe it is..
maybe its just an infatuation..
i cant possibly like her..
i cant be crooked again..
i dont wanna be..
but what makes me think i like her?
i DUNNO!!!!!!!!!
i need answers!!!!!!!!!
i still need to think through..
is crooked what i really wanna be?
or izzit that i'm contradicting myself again?
i just hate myself..
hate myself for ever liking someone before..
and i dunno why i just dont believe in love..
maybe its cos of seeing how loving someone can hurt so much..
maybe cos of the fact that most couples break up after long relationships..
maybe because of what's happening to my mum now..
maybe i'm just scared..
i dunno..
i dont think i'll ever believe in love..
oh well..
its still early to think about love lar..
its not the only thing in life rite?
haiz.. i noe this entry may be crap to some ppl.. but its my bloody blog..
and i can say whatever i wanna say..
get lost if u have a prob lar!
stories of my life. 9:03 PM;
